For those of you who don't know what stan means, it's a gay lingo for supporting a female celebrity no matter what they do. Some stan for Lady Gaga, some for Cher, others for Ke$ha, etc. This post will be about why I think Taylor Swift is amazing in her own way.

I think when people hear Taylor Swift, they think it's synonymous with relationship songs, bad breakups and cheesy lyrics for tweens. And in all honesty, there are songs that Taylor has written which are very prepubescent and reminds you of a 12 year old's diary (Teardrops on my Guitar anyone?). However, if you really dove into her albums and listened to the other songs that unfortunately weren't turned into singles, you'll notice a great depth in emotions, use of words, as well as a unique taste to every song. 

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much,
And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up.
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise.
So casually cruel in the name of being honest.
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all... too well.

I don't know about you, but the use of language and flow is beautiful in her song All too well...and guess what? It's not a single off her album Red. Why? Because it doesn't have a catchy chorus everyone is used to like I knew you were Trouble, and no it doesn't have repetitive lyrics for you to sing along to the radio. So yes, it does seem the music you hear from TS is all very similar, but it's because the public in general doesn't have that kind of an interest and for a recording artist, it's not profitable to sell those singles when you have others that grab attention better. 

But you think, her songs are all about the countless relationships she's had with countless men. And you know what? Go her. Because when a man goes out with a bunch of women, he's considered charming and a playboy (with little or no negative connotations). When a woman does it, she's considered a slut. Well, thanks slut-shaming culture. And quite frankly, she's 22 and should be enjoying herself considering it's her life and her relationships. Sure, she sings about them, but who hasn't? Adele made two albums (19 and 21) about her relationship. It's an inspiration for artists to write songs about their lives, and seriously I'd rather a song was written with meaning deeper than a catchy beat with filler lyrics. 

I should also mention Taylor Swift seems like a very sweet person and very down-to-earth with her fans and her gasp (which Kristen Wiig did a great job parodying) aside, she seems to really be thankful for all she's acquired and really wants to make music for the sake of music. 

Dear Beloved Parents,

I know it may have caught you off guard when the deepest secret of my existence to date was courageously plunged into the bubble of our perfect family. Granted, it took me more than half a decade to come to terms with it myself, but still, it seems as though I’ve said and done nothing in retrospect. So, where are we now? I've bounded down the road that leads me to my happiness, a life that's free and accepting with my brother and friends walking with me. But it seems you are still stuck at the fork: deciding whether you want to indulge and follow me on the road less taken, or bulldoze your own way to drag me back towards the passage that would continue our name. 

In reality, it seems as though they have become mutually exclusive. My life, your expectations, and the way reality will inevitably turn out. If I let the trickling sensations of my desires and needs run its course, it will become an estuary to an unwavering homosexual lifestyle. I will be unapologetic of the fact that a man's presence will be the only companion I look for. Then again, I might never be able to show up at your door twenty years from now with the husband I will be legally married to. Misery loves its company though, so would you go as far as condemning my sexual orientation to keep your vision of me unscathed? Because I’ve been scarred and I’ve been defaced by your words. Please, ignorance is not blissful - at least not for me. I can only go so far before looking back to see whether we’re on the same path before continuing. I would no more want to leave than to defy your wishes - but one that affects my own happiness is a sacrifice I must make.  

Until you can accept the fact that I am gay and will be with men for the rest of my life, I will always be the son you envisioned, and not the son you have. 

Your gay son,

Kevin

A primary school teacher told her class that they'd play a game. She gave everyone of the kids a piece of paper and proceeded to tell them to draw a picture of themselves on it. When they were finished drawing, the teacher told the kids to crumple it into a ball and to throw them around like a snowball fight.

After, she asked everyone to find their pictures and announced the winner of the game would be whoever's picture was smoothest. As expected, all of the kid's pictures were marred by the actions of the children. Try as hard as they may, they could not return the paper to its original form.

The teacher then said, "This is a representation of bullying on us all. We show people who we are, and will more or less meet those who will reject us. The scars they leave behind are just like these drawings. Try hard as you might, the creases will never smooth out and the words or actions we exact on others, will always leave a scar. You can try and apologize if you've done something wrong, or try and forget it all, but bullying stays."

If you've yet to hear about this issue, then I strongly urge you to continue reading and visit all the link(s) I will provide below. 

To summarize, a Ugandan rebellion group called the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army), led by a man named Joseph Kony, has been abducting children to reinforce and carry out his senseless atrocity. An estimated 60,000 children have been forced to fight for him, with thousands more killed, mutilated, or forced into sex trades. This has been going on for 20 years; unopposed and continually growing.

What's your role in this? Help stop and bring justice to the cruelty that has forced many to go into constant fear and hiding. This is an issue we need to address now: in 2012. We need to shine a spotlight on the barbarity that has occurred and will continue to occur if left intact. Please, join in the fight against the war on humanity. 

Here are some useful link(s):

The inspiration YouTube video can be found here.

I'm sure there have been many Facebook groups springing up on your newsfeed in your residing city of an event on April 20, 2012 at 8 pm. In essence, action will be taken, aimed at postering every corner of every city so everyone can come into contact with the name Kony. The goal? Make Kony famous; not to celebrate him, but to bring him into the forefront of attention. 

Will you join in a movement that will forever change the course of history and shape human interactions?

*EDIT

I've recently read an article titled 'Visible Children' which critically looks at all aspects of the campaign that has sprung up. Being diplomatic and ignorant to what has or is happening regarding Kony (I've yet to fully research and acquire the necessary information to make bold statements), I will use this post to merely shed some light on this individual, and how we need to put a stop to him. That is the message and contributions I'll make: to get Kony's name out there, and the actions itself can be made by our governments.

I feel like as a college student, depression seems to have a varying effect on everyone; but most prominent with those who are studying away from home. Not only do you have to start over, and live independently, but there's a certain foreboding that follows wherever you go. 

The routine that develops in post-secondary is consistent and bland: go to campus, attend class, go home, do homework/study. The generic lifestyle of a student is doubly worst when you're in college and the chances of you making friends during your lectures is quite slim. So how does one, especially those from a different city, get the opportunity to seek out companionship? ...Extracurricular options? Maybe that'll work, and yet sometimes it doesn't. 

Then, when you think about it: how does one have a social life to liberate the stresses from the studies that entails being a student? Who do you have to go out with now, if you weren't able to make new friends in a city that you're new to? Where do you go then, if this is a place you haven't familiarized yourself with? All of these questions were and still are a constant issue for myself.

Sure, I've joined a few things here and there, made some new friends, and got to go out from time to time...but that feeling never fully dissipates. Is this what being homesick is like? For a lack of a more eloquent expression: it sucks ass. 

Do you, or have you ever felt depressed because of college/moving to a new place to start a new life?

I often find myself reading and hearing a lot about how people are unable to find 'the one' or that they've gone on too many dates with no prospective candidate, or a girl that's constantly falling for any guy that shows a little interest in her and jumping into a relationship with them. To all of them; I say get over it and stay single.

Nowadays, it seems everyone wants to feel loved, and to also love someone in return. The insatiable desire to be someone's significant other has somehow magnified tenfolds in the recent generation. Like the original 151 Pokemons that grew up with me, independence was a constant, sombre reminder. We weren't getting girl/boyfriends at the age of 11, or losing our virginities and having sex at the tender age of 14. No, we were staying late out after school to go on the playground to play Grounders or Tag. We weren't sitting in front of a computer, browsing through Tumblr and being bombarded with beautiful couples together, and a slew of sappy love quotes. We never desired to find someone to be with so that we could feel 'whole' because you know what; WE ARE WHOLE. 

I've been in numerous conversations with people who constantly say they want to find someone; that they want to feel loved. It didn't matter who this person may be, just so long as they were able to call someone their girl/boyfriend. That they can hold hands while walking together. And you know what's sad? That they just can't be happy with themselves.

The only, and most important relationship you'll ever develop and have to sustain; isn't one with your spouse or even your family - it's with yourself. If you don't love yourself enough, and you can't find 'happiness' or even feel 'deprived' when you're single...then I think it's time to reconsider and ask yourself the hard questions. I'm no psychologist, but there seems to be an internal problem where the self-esteem and self-reliance mentality isn't as healthy as it could be. 

I'm not going to lie, I'm an 18 year old (flaming) homo who hasn't ever had a boyfriend. Do I hope for one? Yes, but I'll wait patiently until my path in life converges with someone compatible. Unless of course, they look like Jake Gyllenhaal, in which case I'm going to bulldoze my way into their life. But in all seriousness, I think it's time to really reflect on yourself and think about the deep-rooted desires that could lead to many unnecessary heartbreaks and tears. Cause in the end, how do you expect someone to love you if you can't love yourself? 

Do you feel like everyone's getting together so they can feel "whole"? Is the media playing a role in maturing and forcing people to 'fall in love' when they naturally wouldn't have had the aspirations to?

Sometimes transcribing your thoughts and motives help organize the torrential storm you’re caught in when love strikes. I guess I can only use this safe haven of anonymity as my means of accomplishing such a thing.

The first time I’d caught Evan’s eyes, I knew he was physically attractive to me. You know how it’s the physicality that initially gravitates you toward an individual, and the personality that keeps you within their orbit? Yeah, that’s what happened. 

Our first meeting and subsequent conversation could have been categorized as quiet, strange, and very much awkward. I didn’t know why he would talk to me, of all people. I guess it was cause I was alone the whole time, and easy to make conversation with, without interrupting someone. Regardless of the reasons behind it; I’m grateful he did. 

After each week that we saw each other, I’d noticed a spark was set aflame. The question was: did I really like him for him, or was it the prospect of a relationship? Was I so intoxicated by the idea of having a boyfriend, that it didn’t matter who it was?

To answer that question, I would have to direct this story to another individual who’d entered my life, this time via the internet. It started with a short message, of how the things I blogged about were interesting - how we had similar opinions. Conversations with Sam was fluid and flowed through endlessly. I could confide in him; I could tell him all the obstacles I was encountering in college and coming out to my parents. He would comfort me to no ends. He ultimately became my life raft, the buoyancy that kept my head above the suffocation of stress. Then I saw Sam, at least, photos of him. He’s tall, blonde, talented, and everything that would be considered physically attractive. So why didn’t it work? The personality was everything I’d asked for, his physical attraction was strong, and most importantly, he liked me. 

But why didn’t I feel the same? I’d been so blinded by my own infatuations with Evan that I never considered Sam’s interest in me until it was too late. I couldn’t concurrently stop myself from falling for Evan, and continue leading Sam on. My love life essentially came crumbling down; I set free the one person who I was certain liked me, and pursued another that probably would never return those feelings. Karma’s a bitch, right?

Essentially, at this point in time, I’m certain that I like Evan. Premature to say? I don’t think so. I’ve been tested with the opportunity to find happiness through a mutual relationship. But I’d turned it down because I couldn’t force love. Guess it’s the same with Evan; I can’t synthesize him liking me anymore than Sam could with me. 

Having an unrequited crush sucks. 

So after almost two months of being in college, I thought I would share some of the tips and tricks (and pitfalls) that concerns freshmen through my own experiences in post-secondary education. So, let's begin!

10. The same input of work for high school does NOT yield similar output for college

This means the time you spend studying, doing homework, and other such activities. In high school, everything was simplified, easy, and quite frankly, VERY different from what college actually is about. You cannot expect to study for an hour the night before a midterm and expect to ace it the same way high school was. The slap of reality took me completely by surprise and I will admit, I've failed half of the midterms I took because I didn't study enough, and didn't get help. Which leads onto my next point...

9. If you need help, get help

This is generally something I also haven't done much of. I'm a shy person, so when I approach someone for help, I'm always scared shitless. However, it's important to realize that if you don't understand a concept, it's paramount you get that fixed immediately. Universities don't slow down and babysit you to make sure you understand something. They go at their pace, and YOU have to follow them. Also, many professors actually have office hours where students don't even go, so they just sit there helping no one. Use that resource!

8. If you're living away from home, call/contact your family and friends often

This is probably something many of you already do, but it's definitely a nice way to feel support and love. I know how it feels moving to a completely different city (and province!) and starting from scratch on not only meeting people, but familiarizing yourself with the environment. Being so alienated...having people to fall back on is a great relief. So next time you're on the computer, why not strike up an instant messenger conversation or call up mom and dad?

7. Stock up on pre-prepared food

This one is particularly important to me. Often enough, I will come home from classes and be too tired to cook. So what's the solution? MICROWAVABLE FOOD! They are quick, easy and possibly most convenient for students who just feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. However, try to keep a balance. These foods do end up having either too many preservatives, or high sodium content. Make sure you don't gain that dreaded freshman 15 (unless you want to)!

6. Join clubs, groups, sports teams and volunteer to meet people 

Not only are you pushing yourself to become more confident and sociable (both qualities I severely lack), but you're also networking! Many times, you'll be able to meet amazing individuals who not only share common interests with you, but can help you land a nice job through their connections. Remember, you can never have too large of a network and develop too many connections that benefit you greatly in the future!

5. Work hard, play harder

Sure, trying to get that 4.0 GPA might be the only thing your parents (or possibly yourself) would want accomplished, but you should never forget that this is the COLLEGE LIFE! You're at the final stage of your education, where you have the last chance for irresponsible (okay, not really, but you get what I mean) fun and just enjoy life. You're only young once, and it's definitely important to keep a balance between studies and having fun. You're like an elastic band - stretched too much and it will break. Find that happy medium.

4. Review the materials you learned that day before you sleep

It's been scientifically proven that, a) if you review for a short period of time, the material you learned has better retention and ability to be recalled when you need it, and b) if you study an hour before you sleep, you are more capable of storing this information from your temporary, short-term memory to your long-term memory. So, instead of cram sessions near your midterms/finals, do it bit by bit everyday!

3. Explore your options and try out new courses that may or may not be required for your degree

This was something that was recommended for me by other Xangans; to try out different courses that interests you. Yes, college is expensive and derailing yourself from your degree by taking unnecessary courses may not be possible for everyone, but think of it like this. By indulging in your own interests, you're able to find out what really sparks a passion for yourself, and live a life doing something you LOVE. It's a lot better than never having found out what screams to you and living and working in an occupation you either loathe or just isn't as affectionate about. 

2. Plan ahead

This involves planning on many different levels, like, what courses do you need for your major/minor? When are you going to fit in precious studying time vs. free, relaxing time? Is an assignment due soon? All of these things can impact your overall university experience. You should keep an agenda handy while you keep your time and 'to-do list' organized. Obviously we're not talking about detailing every little thing that will occur in chronological order, but you should know what to be looking forward to, and what needs to be completed. That way, things won't catch you by surprise and you'll be better prepared to succeed.

1. Attend class

I think this one should speak for itself, but it's amazing how many people DON'T REALIZE THIS. By attending class, you're able to absorb material that's presented in a multimedia fashion. Let's be honest, we really don't like reading through 500+ pages of textbooks that are in words too lengthy and boring to be of interest. This is where your professors come in - they present a more concise and equally effective means of absorbing information for you. However, don't forget to read the textbook for more explanations and things that might not have been covered in class, but is expected knowledge. Again, find the happy medium. 

How was your first year in college? Was it a shock? Also, what other tips/difficulties did you encounter that could be helpful for college freshmen?

Recently, I've noticed many comments regarding posts on Lovelyish that said how certain beauty distinctions were all because the subject wanted to look Caucasian (e.g. Ulzzang and skin-lightening products). Now, growing up in Canada all my life, I can certainly testify why I feel the definition of beauty for many people would be having blond hair, blue eyes and a fair complexion. However, it's really not true all the time and there is a diversity of what is perceived as beauty. 

Taking into account the subject of Ulzzang - where the eyes of the women are large, and their noses are relatively thin/small. Some would argue that they're trying to create a 'Caucasian' look, by means of circle lenses and make-up. However, it's also very possible that they're trying to make a realistic replica of anime/manga characters. In many Asian countries, the anime/manga culture is highly developed and a popular means of entertainment (as opposed to say, Jersey Shore and MTV here in North America). Some characteristics of these characters include: large eyes, small (even nonexistent) noses, light complexions (most manga are not in colour, so they end up just being white cause of the paper), and a very thin face shape. See anything similar yet?

Now, onto the subject of lighter skin. Just as a side note, many Asian women back in the 'olden days' equated having lighter skin as a form of being rich and not being required to work outside. Those who had to work in rice fields or such occupations would result in having a more tanned skin tone. This is paralleled to the Victorian era, where many Caucasian people sought for very pale complexions as well as a sign of belonging in the upper class. So, history does repeat itself. In the same way, many women nowadays see that having a lighter complexion being much more desired. It's just how people were brought up. Additionally, my mom has also said that when she has lighter skin, her face seems to 'glow' and look more 'youthful'. So, it could very possibly be that women want to achieve brighter complexions via skin-lightening treatments. 

Obviously, it's possible my own opinions of these beauty trends are skewed, or maybe not. Regardless, I think beauty should be celebrated in all its different forms and that people of all skin colours are gorgeous in their way. 

What's your opinion on the the standard of beauty we see plastered in the media from predominantly Caucasian people? Do you think it has a bearing on how people from other racial backgrounds view themselves? 

Now, I'm not going to be melodramatic and rant on about how my life is over, but you know, it's kind of at a stand-still where I personally think my life IS over. You see, I had initially attended the university that I'm at now, hoping to become a dentist. That goal (or rather, very distant dream) is just not meant for me it seems. Recently, I've begun to question more and more of my own capabilities and desires. 

Did I wanted to become a dentist because I was passionate about it? Or was the money behind it what really motivated me? To a certain degree, I did think the income was largely comforting to have. But I also am very passionate about helping people. I love to see people smile. I love to see, after a large amount of time is spent on a task, the fruition that is a person's enjoyment of your hard work. That was my ultimate motivation to be in the health field - specifically as a dentist. 

The courses I'm taking, whether it's because I've just been too unprepared for, or have utterly no aspirations to continue, has resulted in me acquiring horrible marks. I guess I have to admit - I just didn't really try hard enough. To a lesser extent, I really do miss my family and friends. I miss my home. Does this mentality have anything to do with my lack of interest, or am I just following in a path that's just not cut out for me?

Personally, I like to think of myself as an artist. I'm one of those people who love the arts - music, dance, cultures, languages, and art in general. Complimented by many people, I also apparently have an affinity to creating things. I'm capable of drawing, graphic design, and using my creativity to ultimately think outside the box. Sort of. 

Well, I'm at a fork in the road, and have no idea how to approach this. Do you have any tips or suggestions for me? Should I follow my talents down a path that may not be economically stable, but interesting? Or fight for an improbable future of medical practice?